I just read my last entry on this blog. God is good & He got me through those times. To tell you how wonderful God is, here's how some things ended up. There are certain reasons for certain things. And there are certain people in your life who are there because God sent them. You never know who they are, but never think that the person you last hugged or recently faced isn't a God send because, they totally are.
The huge amt of $ I ended up losing from getting scammed through Avon was lended to me by my own cuz, Gwyndolyn. (Actually it's just Gwyn) I don't always see him, talk to him or hangout with him though he lives about 1/2 a mile from me, but he was there when I so desperately needed him. He was the answer to my heavy prayers of fear & anguish. Praise God for Gwynneth.
Because of the set-back of funds, I had to tell my best friend since the 2nd grade, Bev, & Mng J (her cuz & my lovely friend) that I was going to have to miss out on the bachelorette. I was honest about why & they both respected me for it. In the end of it, Mng J lent me $ to go on the trip. I had felt so guilty that I would miss the only bachelorette party my best friend since the 2nd grade would have....due to my naive mind in business. Sigh. But God sent me Mng J. She has been there for me through the years. And has taken care of me from LSU days till now. Sad, I feel like I'm one of those little sisters who never seems to learn her lesson & has a big sis to bail her out each time. But how amazing it was! God knew my heavy heart....and He sent me angels to help lighten the weight. It definitely was a burden uplifted.
Life muddles on & we do the best we can. Day to day, min to min, second to second. I feel like living life that way isn't always the best, but it's the best I can do now. So far, I have survived whatever strife has come my way. My hills & mtns may not be as big as others have...but mine are hard for me. I know life has more to throw at me, or more specifically, the devil has much more pain, fear, anger & worry to throw in my path & stack onto my shoulders, but God is my Redeemer & Saving Grace. So I need not worry. It's always hard to believe such simple words. Faith is a hard concept. I won't lie about that. But once you have it, it makes the world of difference.
Honestly I thought I had faith. But then when I read Hebrews, I realized my faith was not enough or not even faith. The faith I thought I had was just the words coming out of my mouth & the thoughts entering my head. It wasn't a true belief of mine because I wasn't acting like it. I realized the faith I was practicing was just letting bygones be bygones & not actually living like my battles were already won. I acted like I was already defeated. There is a big difference in the 2.
Ever heard of the Secret Society for Women? If not ladies, google it & sign up. Lisa Ling had this idea for a site. It's a site where you can start threads & discussions on topics, read on others experiences or just vent! It's nice to be able to randomly & anonymously throw out my thoughts onto a secret thread & have someone give feedback. Don't ever think you're the only one who knows how you feel. There are many like us out there with the same feelings & experiences. Share a thought or 2....give feedback....give advice....support a fellow woman. It's a great site.
It's 643am & I'm still not asleep. Lately I haven't been sleeping till about this time, on my off nights. I know something is wrong with me, but I'm not exactly sure if it's a mind thing or if it's coz I might have an ear infection. Either way, I'm here @ this early hour still awake. But now I will leave these words here & head to bed so I can get up to appear at a babyshower. Oh yah, God is showering my life with all my friends who are having babies. Can't wait! My God is great....isn't He?!
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